OneWord Stories
by Godeyes Geller
Summary: Basically pointless randomness created by people taking it in turns to say words. Insane stuff, starting with a pasty. Involves Harry singing about being a punk. Please R&R.
1. In The Beginning

A One-Word Story!

OK, first thing's first - a one-word story is NOT one word, so stop reporting us. It's a story where two or more people take it in turns to say a word. OK? So if you're not expecting a random insanityfic (they should really make that a category) then don't read. You have been warned!

This is me and my friend Sarah Tribbiani (+ whatever she has on the end of her name at the moment)

**Disclaimer:** We do not own Harry Potter. Or sonic screwdrivers or Futurama. (you'll see)

xxx

One morning Mr Weasley was eating a nice pasty flavoured with chips and jelly. He licked the pasty and then he threw up.

"Eurgh! That was disgustingly bad!" said Mr Weasley.

Mrs Weasley came into the kitchen with a sonic screwdriver.

"Why do you have throw-up on the floor?" she asked angrily.

"I didn't know it was on the floor, I will clean it up now," lied Mr Weasley.

"OK you snuggly pasty plop!" said Mrs Weasley, batting her eyelashes.

Mr Weasley groaned and fell on the sick.

"OW!" cried Mr Weasley. Mrs Weasley accidentally imploded.

Then Fred came along and danced in the pile of Mrs Weasleyguts and sick and Mr Weasley and the floor.

Mr Weasley jerked awake and spat his tongue at Fred. The tongue flew out of the window and hit a gnome on the cartilage. The gnomey slapped the tongue and ran to see the person who had done it. It being throwing out the tongue.

But the person had died. Instead Fred was boogying on the pile of Mrs Weasleyguts and sick and deaded Mr Weasley and the floor.

The gnome expired because it was out of date. Then milk expired parce que it was sour and green. George drank the milk and turned green with a hint of mauve. Ginny loved Harry so she gave him George. It was Harry's dream present. He cried with a happy feeling called niceness.

"Thank you for George. He was greatly appreciated!" he said, "'Was' being the operative word."

Harry snapped a twig in George's teeth and claws. Ginny laughed at Harry parce que he was a moron.

"Harry you are a moron," said Ginevra. Harry cried and slashed Ginny across the tummy. Then Ron saw them and threw a paddy. He leaked all over the pair of lovers and they were almost soggy but then Hermes came along and burped. Hermes tweeted to the tune of the song that Hermes sung on Futurama. Ron didn't like the song so he slashed Hermes too. Then Hermes hooted like a hooter.

Ginny nearly killed herself but Harry saved her and they ran away from home and slashed Hermes again. They slashed the world with a piece of paper called Bob.

The ruler is still broken. More to come soon, we promise! Did we make you laugh or not? Review if we did please! And also if we didn't, we're not fussy. But remember, we did warn you it was random, so no flames!


	2. Singing

Singing

We have to start giving these titles ... it's hard to do that when you don't even know what the story's going to be about, though. Get ready for another chapter of randomness!

**Disclaimer: **All we own is the insane plot. Nothing else. But we wrote the weird songs

xxx

Ron was eating a butterbrot made of cheesy bread and bready cheese. Harry was sad and depressed because of his nasty toy wall.

Hermione cried because the wall reminded her of Doctor Who. She smashed it up and killed it with a rhythm stick.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" cried the wall, "I don't want to die!"

Harry smelt of fluff so he saved himself the trouble of not washing his toenail. Ron finished the butterbrot and made himself a cake out of goo and slimey milk. Then George ate the cake and got ill. He forcibly threw up on the fire and it fizzled into the grate.

Harry smelt punky so he decided to turn into a punk. He sung a song called 'I'm a Punk!'

_'I'm a punk,_

_I have a head of weird hair_

_I own a punky earring _

_And I listen to punk_

_I love to rock and punk_

_I sing punky songs _

_I prefer eating trifles,_

_To the alternative, which sounds similar_

_I also own two T-shirts_

_Which have motifs about punk on them_

_And I like older punk better_

_Than new punk_

_Because it's older and less gay_

_But I mainly sing all day long_

_Any type of punky song!'_

Ron laughed because Harry's song was rubbish.

"Why do you sing about great punk?" Hermione asked. She tripped over a CD about Godeyes Geller. It broke and she played it anyway.

_'Godeyessssss! Godeyes Gellerrrrrrrrrrrrr!_

_She's so weird and kinda gay_

_She has a cat called Cupcake_

_Ooops I mean Muffin!_

_She is very pale when Muffin eats her_

_Sarah Tribbiani is her friend_

_She likes CDs about Godeyes Geller_

_Let's all dance to new songs about Godeyes,_

_Laaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaa_

_Laaaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaa!'_

Hermione got a shard of CD in her eyeball.

"OOOWWW!" she squealed.

Ron ran away because the eyeball was rolling towards him. He was terrified of eyeballs because he had encountered a stray eyeball in his youth that spat on his best hat.

Harry disliked eyeballs because they were round and rolled like a ball of elastic bands.

"I am a smelly simile," said Ron, because that simile was very annoying. He poisoned the Bloody Baron with the gas from his fart.

"Gaaaaaaaaack," said the Bloody Baron, then he popped his clogs again. This made him non-existant and he promptly imploded.

Hermione watched with big eyeballs and then asked Ron why he didn't like gas.

"Because it is boring and it smells of stuff like rotting police boxes and men."

"Oh."

Then Dumbledore came along to boogie around with Hermione.

"Dododododododododododododoooooo!" sang Dumbledore, grabbing her hands and swinging her round and round until she felt like being sick but then he let go and she flew away to the land of the dinosaurs.

xxx

Isn't punk great? Another installment in the one-word story series. More ASAP!


	3. Percy Perce, Percy Percy!

One-Word Stories

Yay another installment! Me and Let There Be Sarah Tribbiani.

**Disclaimer: **We don't own whatever may be in this. We own the plot, but that's it.

* * *

Terry Boot was sitting on a loo doing a sudoku puzzle which was very easy and hard. Then Angus came along and ripped Terry's head out of its neck. 

"Ow." owed Terry. Then an Angus walked away.

Harry spontaneously combusted like a hairy troll learning to rock 'n' roll. This made Hermione pleased because she wanted to learn about spontaneous combustion. She took a notebook out and started writing a blog.

'_Spontaneous blog,_

_I love to rock when the fairies fly through the sun and combust. Aaaaaaaaaaah! Today I observed Ron going beserk over nothing except the death of Terry Boot by decapitation. He was a right moronhead, like his daad. Harry also spontaneously combusted today, because he stepped into a supernova. Crookshanks was eaten by Angus and a fat frog called Hermes._

_Goodbye darling blog. I love you,_

_Hermione xxx'_

Ron licked Hermione's ear so he could kill all humans. Hermione died. Then Hermes the frog jumped up onto the ear and ate up the robes on Hermione's coccyx. Snape brewed a potion to make Hermione alive again. He put in a rap:

_This is a rap!_

_It wants to be loved_

_I love my guinea pig small_

_And I love bags of fun_

_In conclusion_

_I hate Potter and all humans_

_Except Minerva_

_Because j'aime her. Elle est belle._

_I like to sing and dance_

_Especially to the jungle book land._

_I smell of sweat and blood_

_Because I am a scientist!_

Hermione hugged Goyle because he could not tie his shoelaces up. Goyle died. Crabbe cried like a cake sniffing glue. He fell over a tiny crab and stubbed his nose.

"Owwwwwwww!" Crabbe owwwwwwwwed, sticking his nose into vinegar and rubbing it better with sandpaper which didn't not hurt.

Then an imbecile owl flew into a nose made out of pointy Percies.

The Percies went up and up a staircase singing:

"Percy Perce, Percy Percy! Percy Percy Pee!" over and over again to the tune of the song that was driving the authors insane.

Then Percy had a neural implosion and a baby because he was a seahorse.

Unfortunately the singing killed the baby.

* * *

Please review! No flames though, we DID warn you! 


	4. Fweg

One-Word Stories

Chapter Four: Fweg

We haven't done one of these for aaaaaaaaaages, so here we are.

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Harry Potter. In fact, we own the plot and that's it. Because we don't yet know what will be in this story... Or Slash because we just wrote about him...Lets see anyone else? Yeah, we don't own Guns 'N' Roses or AC/DC. Or the titchy little Dr Who references there. That is all. Oh, and Rubidium.

* * *

"Hello," said Mr Weasley "I want bananas. They are a good source of potassium." 

He pulled a bed out of the freezer. Mrs Weasley came along and fell on Slash.

"Oww," said Slash, running away.

"My poor freezer is cold. I should die," said Mr Weasley, blowing on the fridge.

"Hmmm," said Fweg (Sorry, Fred, Beth was eating crisps and I couldn't understand what she was saying).

"Hello Sweet Child O' Mine," said Mrs Weasley in a tribute to Slash, falling into a Paradise Freezer.

"Brr," said Fweg, jumping into the bin.

"Squelch," said the bin, spitting Fweg out onto Mr Weasley.

Mr Weasley sang a song about a haggis called Fweg.

* * *

'_Once upon a daydream,_

_There lived a haggis named Fweg,,_

_Who fell into some molten Rubidium,_

_And melted._

_xxx_

_Sizzle, siizle, said Fweg's remains,_

_Pop, pop, goes the Weasley,_

_Ow, ow, a sheep is flying,_

_Towards Hogwarts in vain,_

_For Dumbledore is dead._

_xxx_

_Dirty deeds done very expensively,_

_What a rip off,_

_Of an Acca/Dacca song,_

_And also it's too expensive.'_

_

* * *

_

Then George kissed Mr Weasley's feet and licked his verucas.

"That is revolting!" yelled Mr Weasley, peeling grapes off his head.

"But it tastes nice!" whined George.

He imploded. His tummy grumbled strangely from the Pit. Mr Weasley danced on Fweg's back and jumped over a carving of cheese.

The cheese died in a towering inferno of molten Rubidium.

* * *

This chapter was written by us two, plus Faramirlover and Dark Knight Harkness. Please review, sweet childs o' ours! 


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